My Newest Obsession....

An artist is nothing without his or her obsessions, and I have mine. Andres Serrano

When I find something new that I like, whether a pattern I create or a new website, I spend nearly all of my time obsessing over this new find. My latest obsession is the website Tophatter.com! The website is an online auction that includes handmade items which is perfect for me since I am handmade artist. I know everyone hears online auction and thinks about Ebay but there are big, BIG differences!

Unlike Ebay, Tophatter is a quick paced auction which reminds me of the traditional auctions that I love to go and watch the chaos of bidding create such exhilaration for those in the auction house. So at the top of the hour, the auction begins and a lot goes up for sale and in minutes people are bidding away and then the lot is sold. If you blink, you may miss the item you want to buy! 

As a seller, the auction is just as exhilarating because you are watching people bid and fight for you creation. One minute your lot could be a $1 then the next it could be $20! You never know what people are looking to buy and what they are willing to pay for you creation. Check out an auction now: tophatter.com  

What are you Grateful For?

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

John F. Kennedy

Gratitude is something that is easily forgotten in the everyday hustle and bustle of our lives but is something that each person should take 5 minutes out of a day to give a little thanks. I started a gratitude list a months ago but some days or even weeks, I would forget to even write a single word of appreciation. However, with all chaos of my life, I have found great comfort in writing 5 things that I am grateful for each day. In the beginning, my gratitude was for the children, family and friends and why I am grateful for each of them. Then it moved onto the things that are necessary to my survival on this earth... food, water and shelter. Now, I am truly finding the things that I am grateful for in life and in myself such as my artistic skills, the warmth of sunshine on my skin and the freedom to walk this earth each day that I wake up. To be grateful for each breathe I take is indescribable because so often we take for granted that each breathe we take is keeping us alive and on this beautiful earth. So what are you grateful for today?

Friends with Benefits or A Relationship?

"I wish my life was a movie sometimes. You know, I'd never have to worry about my hair, or having to go to the bathroom. And then when I'm at my lowest point, some guy would chase me down the street, pour his heart out and we'd kiss. Happily ever after."

What defines a relationship? I have been wondering about this quite frequently lately because of the relationships around me and the ones in my own life. I have my friend relationship but this time I thinking about romantic relationships. Does a relationship have to be the normal go on dates? Does it mean you wait until the timing is right before it turns sexual? Can a relationship start as friends first? 

The questions could go on and on but I won't put you all through that. I have the big dilemma of having feelings for a friend whom turned into a friends with benefits. He is someone that I talk to everyday and we talk about everything but once the friendship turned sexual... things changed for me. I am an emotionally driven woman which means that I relate sex to having emotional feelings with someone. The only problem with having feelings is that we both said no relationship..... but if we talk everyday and have a sexual relationship, isn't that a relationship? 

Its a relationship without the I love you.........

Love Everyday of Your Life

"You only live once, so do everything twice."

 When someone dies, it makes you put your life into perspective. You begin to appreciate who you do have in your life and are grateful for the chance to take another breathe. My  best friend had suffered her first death as an adult and I wish there is something that I could say to make her feel better. Unfortunately when it comes to death, I become numb because it brings up many emotions that I yet to deal with in my own life. 

3 years, 7 months and 2 days.... that is the amount of time since my little brother died at the young ago of 23. I can put on the happy face and act like I am ok but in reality, my heart is still breaking from losing someone I was so close to and shared a special bond with. My brother and I didn't have the easiest childhood but what helped us get through it was each other.... even if we fought like cats and dogs. As adults, our bond grew stronger as we both struggled with our personal lives. We always knew we could talk and vent to the other. Now, I have felt lost without him and haven't been able to cope with that. Seeing my best friend crying over losing her friend makes me want to say something or do something to help ease her pain but all I can say is appreciate the people and things we have because we never know when it can all be taken away and gone tomorrow.

The Simple Life

 

 In a world filled with busy schedules, to-do lists and chaos, I am looking around and finding the simple things in life to enjoy. There was a time in my life that I thought I needed to keep anything that I bought or was given to me but that is simply not true. As we grow as people, we learn that we outgrow our surroundings and sometimes our belongings. The great thing about outgrowing our belongings is that "what is one man's garbage is another man's treasure". So what we don't use any longer, can be useful to someone else and never gone to waste. My goal this week is to start clearing out my outgrowth and letting it become a different person's treasure. So clearing out my bins, bags and drawers will help bring simplicity to my surroundings and my mind. Less chaos in my outside world will lessen the chaos in my mind.

*The above quote is a typography art print by BubbyandBean on Etsy. If you would like to purchase this print please click the picture or the blue links.

Finding My Laughter Again

"I would not exchange the laughter of my heart for the fortunes of the multitudes; nor would I be content with converting my tears.... into calm. It is my fervent hope that my whole life on this earth will ever be tears and laughter." Kahlil Gibran

Heartbreak is one of the hardest emotions and feelings to let go of and in the course of letting it go, you can discover new things about yourself that you may have never known. Recently, I have felt this painful emotion of heartbreak because of a breakup with my boyfriend. People told me that I would go through the mourning and grieving process which is true. I have gone from crying to anger to crying again. It has become a vicious cycle that I have not found a path off of just yet. There are moments of happiness but laughter has left my life and has not returned. 

In the movie Monster's Inc., you witness that laughter is 10x more powerful than fear and screams. So I am on the search to find this laughter that can bring a smile to my face and begin to reawaken my soul. Laughter and happiness is a key component to a loving life and loving yourself. Each day brings its own struggles but when you wake up in the morning, its a fresh day and a fresh start. So find laughter in each new day!

ReAwakening my Life

"Best is good, better is best" Lisa Grunwald

Lately, I have been struggling in my personal life to find myself and feel the happiness that those around me feel on a daily basis. Originally, I created this blog to reawaken people's creative senses but I want to expand beyond just that and allow people to follow my journey to find my happiness once again. For years, I knew that I struggled with depression but I never wanted to admit this to anyone let alone myself. Lately, I have had the chance to look at myself and my life and realize that my depression has been around since I was a teenager but no one else paid enough attention to see that I was unhappy. 

I know that everyone and their mother has written a book about finding themselves. Some people took trips, some people looked for small, daily ways to make themselves happy but I need to figure this journey out myself. I don't want to allow someone else journey to dictate or influence my journey to much. My journey needs to be my own. There is resentment and anger that I need to let go of, maturity to be grown and happiness to be found. 

So as I travel this path and attempt to find ways to find my happiness and love myself, I will be blogging about things that work and things that don't work. I hope that my journey will inspire someone else to take their own journey to find happiness and self-love.